Please, please, please let this be true!

Mood bouncy Tags: television

I'm so ashamed. I was about to pack up and go to bed early, but I happened to see that Titanic would be on TBS tonight. Of course, I have to watch it, despite seeing it 80 bajillion times already. Well, at least the second half. When my cousins and I would spend the night at my grandmother's house, we were only allowed to watch the last hour and a half. Apparently watching an hour's worth of hundreds of people dying horrifically is better than five minutes of nudity and simulated sex. Anyway, I know it's wrong, but I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving Titanic. Despite the crappy dialogue, plot implausibilities, and Leonardo Dicaprio's man-boy face, it has such an epicness that makes it addictive. I love it when movies aim big and succeed. It's truly amazing that such movies are possible when you consider the amount of work and coordination that goes into making them. It gives me the hope that I'll live to see an amazing movie adaptation of an ancient epic.

Mood embarrassed Music "Where's Sven?" Tags: movies

It's been a hectic week, rife with plenty of family DRAMA. I'm kind of exhausted, to be honest, which is why I haven't been able to post about it until now. As background info, I should mention that there are two great crises in our lives at the moment, both concerning old ladies: one is the declining health and mental faculties of my paternal grandmother, the other is the issue of moving my maternal grandmother out of her house and into a nursing home.

( Probably not interesting to anyone but me... )

Mood moody Music The Tonight Show w/ Conan Tags: family stuff, life at home, that's depressing

Today was my first appointment with my therapist for the summer, so Mom and I trekked over to Yellow Springs for the afternoon. I haven't been there since Junior Year of high school (I think?) so it was nice to come back and see that nothing much had changed. Luckily, it was a gorgeous day today, so before my appointment we wandered around, popping into Dark Star Books (Geek-gasm!), Jennifer's Touch (a tiny jewelery store with gorgeous wares), and The Winds Cafe for lunch. It was a really nice little trip and I ended up liking my new therapist, Dr. B, although he does remind me a little too much of Tobias Funke.

I'm still slogging through Doctor Faustus, which is quite frustrating. You would think a book about a man selling his soul to the devil would be hella entertaining, but there are so many long-winded digressions that when you finally find a nugget of interesting ideas, you're too beaten down to care. Normally I would have given up already, but for some reason I feel like doing so would be a big failure on my part. Like, if I put it down for good, I would be acknowledging that I'm not smart enough to read it. So now I have this weird ego thing going on where I have to prove myself to Thomas Mann (even though he's dead) when I could be reading Sandman or something less leaden. Self, why do you do things like this?

Mood weird Tags: books, good day, life at home, mental health stuff, shopping

Monday was Memorial Day, and for my family Memorial Day = awkward cook out. I frickin' love cook outs. I love the drama of choosing between a hamburger and a hot dog. I love planning which salads (out of the 20 billion varieties that abound in the Midwest) are going to be made. I love that there is a very big chance that flavored lemonade is available. So, yeah, I'm a cook out fiend. I really want to learn how to grill this summer so when the time comes for me to host my own cook out, I will be so ready. Since I can't grill yet, I couldn't contribute any meat, so I decided to do dessert. Because this was actually a holiday, I decided to aim big, and so I spent most of the day making Boston Cream Pie Cupcakes.

( CUPCAKES! )

Mood lazy Tags: cooking diaries, food, holidays, life at home, pictures

So there I was, my hands all gritty with cornmeal, making biscuits, when all of a sudden a lady from Von Maur, one of the stores I applied to, called. OMG! She sounded really interested in me...until I said that I was only looking to work during the summer. Apparently they don't hire temp workers. I was pretty crushed, so my dinner ended up missing that certain zing that comes from being fully engaged in the cooking of it. I was pretty sad, and so I was a bit sloppy. Overall, it wasn't bad but it could have been better. This is going to bug me for a while, I can tell.

Anyway, my menu evolved partially as a private joke - it's very loosely based on the concept of an English dinner, as shepherd's pie is the main attraction, but it's heavily Ameicanized. I got a little smirk out of literally making pudding to end things, because it's another word for "dessert" in England, but I didn't want to be too over-the-top themey.





( Images, Ahoy!  )

Mood sad Tags: cooking diaries, food, pictures, work?

I've had an action packed day today: got a rare manicure-pedicure, took a shitty swatch of my new polish, read news and was horrified by PCP guy (srsly, WTF?), went to the grocery store to get ingredients for tomorrow's dinner, and made vanilla pudding. (Which was not from a box, thank you very much. I did the egg and cornstarch thing. Pics forecoming.) Now I'm going to chill and read more of Doctor Faustus.

I've been keeping up with my goal of reading a shit ton this summer. I finished Manhunt by James L. Swanson a couple days ago, which I thought was generally entertaining if somwhat judgy. I don't like it when my history books preach at me, as when they do it makes me feel like I'm being forced to agree with the author(s) and that usually makes me angy. Manhunt presented a disturbingly romanticized picture of Booth and the people who helped him, which felt really icky to me. Others might feel differently.

After Manhunt I began Doctor Faustus, one of those monumental books which people feel like they should read but usualy don't want to read. Well, I held my breath, dove in, and was surprised by how much it engaged me from the first page. I'm still at the begining, but already I'm getting that tingly feeling that tells me a piece of literature is gonna rock my socks. In particular, I really liked the following passage, which talks about a certain mood present in Kaisersaschern in the early 20th century: 

"But there hung in the air something of the state of the human heart during the last decades of the fifteenth century, a hysteria out of the dying Middle Ages, something of a latent psychological epidemic -- a strange thing to say about a sensibly practical, modern town. But it was not modern, it was old, and age is the past as the present, a past only veneered with the present; and this may sound bold, but one could imagine a Children's Crusade suddenly errupting there -- a Saint Vitus' dance, some utopian communistic lunatic preaching a bonfire of vanities, miracles, and visions of the Cross, and roving masses of mystic enthusiasts. That did not occur, of course -- how could it have?...Our own times are secretly inclined -- or, rather, anything but secretly, very purposefully in fact, with a particularly smug sense of purpose that leaves one doubting life's genuineness and simplicity and produces perhaps a very ill-fated historicity -- our times are inclined, I say, to return to such epochs and enthusiastically repeat symbolic actions that have something sinister about them, that strike in the face of modern understanding..." 

Yes, yes, I know, TL;DR. But what's frightening about this is that he's talking about Nazi Germany and yet there is something very much like this "smug sense of purpose" present in American right now. Anti-intellectualism, anti-thought, anti-anything that makes people question themselves and their beliefs. It all makes me sick. Thanks, Doctor Faustus, for articulating why.

Mood sore Music The Funeral - Band of Horses Tags: books, life at home

Today has been spent trolling around Dayton and dropping off applications. I'm starting to get really frustrated with myself. Before going into a store to hand off an app, I always coach myself to sound confident and not intimidated. And then as soon as I get to someone who can take it, my voice drops and I get all mumbly, almost apologetic. It's like I want to assure them I'm not clueless, I know the job situation is tough right now, I'm not expecting a miracle. But I'm just undermining myself. Ugh! 

Despite failing so far on the job front, I did get some good stuff today: Nigella Lawson's How To Eat, 2 pairs of capris, a gauzy blouse, a knit tee, a loose white cardigan, and a pair of earrings shaped like lightning bolts. There's something about being home that makes me a huge clothes horse. I think it's because I have a lot of extra time to piss away on planning outfits and getting ready. And I watch too much Sex and the City. Now I just need to find a place to go so I can wear this stuff.

Mood tired Music Money - Alan Cumming Tags: clothes, life at home, shopping, work?

Tonight was my first night to cook, and I think everything turned out really well. There were no disasters in the kitchen, the food turned out as described and tasted good, and I gained some cooking confidence that will serve me well. I documented everything, so you can see what I was up to.

( Very image intensive! )

Mood accomplished Music Wake Up - Arcade Fire Tags: cooking diaries, food, pictures

I just renewed my Librarything account after a long absence and am in the process of updating my account with all of books I've acquired in the past year. Is anyone else on the site? 

Mood curious Music Jesus Was a Crossmaker - The Hollies Tags: books, internets